Existentialism – Candlestick Counselling and Psychotherapy Services

Island Lake Conservation Area-Orangeville-Ontario; Sep 14-2025: Exploring the Subterranean Life of the Hour is one of my tools of growth.

In existential therapy, the “life of the hour” and what is unfolding in this very moment is used as a tool to help healing.

I have worked with supervisors who taught me to harness these moments and transform and expand the energy of the safe healing moments to other aspects of life. Another tool is to go beneath the surface of a client’s words, silences, what is left unsaid or the nervous tone, subtle giggles

SLH-Subterranean life of the hour -James F.T.Bugental (1915-2008)

James Bugental, was the President of the Association for Humanistic Psychology (1967). He coined the term “subterranean life of the hour” to describe the implicit, unspoken undercurrents in session. This helps develop deeper understanding of feelings, meanings, existential concerns. The different dimensions of SLH include (but is not limited to)

1- Presence and Absence Shifts

How much each is fully engaged or avoiding or going on tangents

2- Non verbal cues

The tone, volume, silence, interruptions, bodily tension, hesitations and energy of the room

3-Existential themes

Themes such as freedom, mortality, isolation, meaning that may not be consciously acknowledged but shape the therapeutic moment.

4- The Living Process Underneath

Listening not only to what is said but also to the living process underneath, the background, development and energy of the therapeutic relationship. How one shows up for the sessions and willingness or unwillingness (it is an evolving spectrum) to engage and be accountable.

Case Scenario

Consider a man in his 40s who has just ended a 15-year marriage. He now lives with a new partner, but both have decided not to not get married and just see how things develop. He feels unsettled about how he has to repeat same things again and again but his partner does not seem to get it. There is uneasiness about the hours spent in work -juggling between clients and extended family in different time zones and then spending weekends in costly dinners and outings.

When the therapist gently suggests exploring how his or his partner’s family of origin and family of creation issues (both have had previous marriages) may be shaping his struggles, he lashes out angrily:

Client (C ) : I don’t want to talk about my family or the past. That’s not why I came here!”

Therapist (T): (feels the sting of his anger but resists retreating into intellectual explanations)
I can feel your pushback. Something in our relationship tells me that we want to explore this moment, not go anywhere else

Principle: Instead of intellectual explanations, use reflection, touch on the “life of the hour” and the “Subterranean life of the hour” to harness the fears which fuel the anger. Leverage the fear of losing control, or being engulfed in tangential past issues which have gone by and not be seen in the present or be mis-seen.

Present Field: Dwelling together in the present field: his anger, the therapist’s steadiness, the tension, the unspoken vulnerability can be used to harness the therapeutic relationship as a supportive relationship.

Worksheet

The following worksheet explores the tool of Subterranean Life of the Hour, with examples from the above scenario, and prompts of grounding, naming, attunement, dialogue and integration. If you would like to explore an existential issue – in a customized manner, you can reach out to Prashant Bhatt or 6478181385

Worksheet: Exploring the Subterranean Life of the Hour

This worksheet is meant to help clients (and therapists) pause, reflect, and tune into the implicit life of the present moment.

Eg-Client – in his 40s-struggling with his common law partner lashes out angrily saying has not come here to see family of origin or family of creation (past failed marriage) issues

1- Presence and Absence Shifts

How much each is fully engaged or avoiding or going on tangents

Principle: Engagement

Rest Stop

Does the lashing out mark a rupture. If yes, how would you see it going forward.

If no- why not?

2- Non verbal cues

The tone, volume, silence, interruptions, bodily tension, hesitations and energy of the room

Principle: Mindfulness

Tool: Grounding

Take three slow breaths.

Notice your body: Where do you feel heaviness, tightness, warmth, or flow?

Let the present moment be enough.

Let Go and integrate the breaths with any uneasy feelings

3-Existential themes

Themes such as freedom, mortality, isolation, meaning that may not be consciously acknowledged but shape the therapeutic moment.

Principle: Naming the Hour

Tool: Without analyzing, put words to what is happening here and now.

Eg- The therapist named the anger, unease to explore habits of heart and head.

4- The Living Process Underneath

Principle: Attunement Practice

Notice the other person’s face, tone, body language.
Notice your reactions (tightening, softening, pulling away, leaning in).
Practice holding both realities—mine and theirs—without judgment

Eg- The creation of empathy, going into the causes and conditions which led a person to have a certain position may be useful clues

Exploring Disconnection, resonance, what is left unspoken can be part of growth.

Rest Stop: When was the last time you felt unheard? How did you react? How do you feel about it now?

Note after the first three steps of

1- Grounding

2- Naming

3- Attunement

We can deepen this process by

4- Dialogue

5- Integration

Step 4. Dialogue with the Subterranean Life

Imagine the subterranean voice of the moment speaking.

1- Mindfulness of time tool- If we were having this conversation 20 years from now, what part of yourself would be protective, supportive of your needs.

2- Mindfulness of time-with spirit tool: if we were two spirits (on a human journey) having this conversation 200 years from now, what would you smile at.

Step 5. Integration

I use Mindfulness (Satipatthana) and Johari window to work through the issues of head and heart, intuition and intellect and create a customized map to help clients navigate and negotiate their journeys.

For eg- in the man in his forties who lashed out, we returned to the breath, body, energy of the room and wrote down one sentence which would capture what he discover about himself, his values and how the world works from the existential dissection of his moments of anger.

End Note

Intellectualization would lead to dismissal using words like “resistance” or pathologizing using terms as “avoidance”. Instead, by leaning into the subterranean life of the hour, engaging, grounding, naming and attuning with the pushback, we explored this factor with an attitude of invitation.

This attuned stance created a doorway to deeper truths: his anger was not against the therapist but against the unease of losing safety again.

All recovery lies in the pause. Pausing to notice and harness the subterranean life of the hour helps discover the underlying truths and longings for connection, recognition and freedom.

Worksheet_ Exploring the Subterranean Life of the Hour Download

Look for her among her friends- a suggestion by Irvin Yalom, in his book “Staring at the Sun” set me down memory lane. I encourage this to clients suffering from grief. The book tells how self-disclosure can be used to further the therapeutic collaboration.

Recognize, Accept Investigate Non judgment and Mr.Anger

As the anniversary of his mother came, he called his mother in law now in her 80s. She was one of his mother’s good friends.

My friend told of the times when he was being told in subtle and not so subtle ways to not bother others.

Grief is a journey, and my friend Mr.A has helped me see many ways in which he has mapped his journey of grief.

One of the things he grieves is the loss of his home, which he built, in the 1990s, when his mother was alive. Now he goes to the same house, to do service, having spent many years in 12 step recovery. However, he did confide that there are uneasy moments when he is told to shape up or shape out, which does not go well for his self esteem and connection.

In the blog on Anger (Dragons or Donkeys) – we had gone through the different approaches to Anger using the classical CBT model- STOPP tools and the Narrative therapy tools of externalization, scaffolding conversations and remembering.

One year on, we did a review of the issues faced through the Grief lens – remembering his mother, who passed away from cancer.

Recognizing his mother’s educator voice within him has been an important part of his growth journey. He remembers the sacrifices, adjustments and nurturing which went in the early years of coming to Canada. She was a well established teacher in a leading school of Bombay (Now known as Mumbai). The best job she could get was that of a bank teller. Her husband, who was a leading marketing executive, became a security guard.

Accepting the hurts and how they are affecting his day, and using the mindfulness tool of going back to a time in his childhood when he had seen abuse in his family of origin became a powerful tool to become more aware of his patterns.

We made a movie – and went back to one of the parties of his childhood, when after the party there would be bitter arguments between his parents. “When I was small, I used to hide and was terrified by the arguing which sometimes became physically abusive,” he said, reliving those moments. We went into the four areas of mindfulness- the body, feelings, thoughts and principles. At his level as a ten year old, he could remember the freezing of the body, the confusion and fear, bitterness at how the evening gathering which was so pleasant had deteriorated to this mess and the principle of family foundation being violated while being there for the four children.

In the here and now, of the therapy session, we went through these in a safe space and he could see those patterns being repeated in the recent episode of being told to Shut Up or Get Out.

As we linked the family of origin issue, how that memory stays in his body, feelings, thoughts and what new knowledge he has gained through therapy, he smiled at the habits of his head and heart.

Humber Walks-July 2025: Etienne Brule Park, Old Mills area of Toronto has been one of my thinking places for many years. Here I meet trusted fellows and friends. One such friend told me about the grief of the passing away of his mother, when he was 19 years old, and how he then descended into a life of Drugging and Alcohol. Through a program of Recovery he has been sober for over three decades and helps carry the message of Recovery-One Day at a Time.

Post script: Later that week, he made a phone call to his mother in law, now in her 80s, who told him, when his marriage was getting over. “For me, you will always remain my son-in-law, no matter what happens between my daughter and you.” That moment of being valued served as a message of connection, hope and reconciliation in some of the darkest moments of his life.

Look for her among her friends, the principle came alive in a near and particular way for my friend.

References: Adapted from

Adler, A. (2014). Individual psychology. In An introduction to theories of personality (pp. 83-105). Psychology Press.

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician’s Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology). WW Norton & Company.

Yalom, I. D. (2008). Staring at the sun: Overcoming the terror of death. The Humanistic Psychologist, 36(3-4), 283-297.

Worksheet RAIN and Anger-aug 2025 Download

Tag: Existentialism

Subterranean Life of the Hour